Samezuka Academy’s Culture Festival – The Traditional Maid Cafe (From Hell)
Drama CD 1
Drama Information
Cast Rin Matsuoka (CV. Mamoru Miyano)

Seijuro Mikoshiba (CV. Kenjiro Tsuda)
Aiichiro Nitori (CV. Kōki Miyata)
Gou Matsuoka (CV. Akeno Watanabe)

Track Information
Publisher Lantis
Seller Bandai Visual
Release Date August 21, 2013
Album Iwatobi High School Swim Club's Activity Log 1

Samezuka Academy’s Culture Festival – The Traditional Maid Cafe (From Hell) (鮫柄学園文化祭 伝統の冥土喫茶) is the seventh track of the drama cd Iwatobi High School Swim Club's Activity Log 1. It was released on August 21, 2013.



Nitori:“Samezuka Academy’s Culture Festival – The Traditional Maid Cafe (From Hell)”

[Samezuka Academy pool. Mikoshiba blows a whistle]
Mikoshiba:Gather up, guys! As you all know, we’ll be holding our culture festival soon. And, as tradition demands of us every year, our swim club will be participating!
Rin:Are we going to do a performance or work a food cart?
Nitori:Matsuoka-senpai, don’t you know about Samezuka swim club’s traditional program?
Rin:Hm? What do you mean, Nitori?

Nitori:Matsuoka-senpai! I don’t want to do this either, but we have to! Hurry up and change!
Rin:I said, no! Why is our traditional program a maid cafe?!
Nitori:You have a pretty face so I’m sure you’ll look good wearing a maid outfit!
Rin:That doesn’t make me happy! Like hell I’m gonna wear this frilly thing!
Nitori:But it’s a rule that’s been passed down generations through the swim club. We have no choice.
Rin:I want to ram my fist into the face of the alumni who first thought of it.
Nitori:All club members are forced to participate in this maid cafe. If you refuse to participate, then it’s custom that you quit the club. It’s no use resisting.
Rin:I quit.
Nitori:[grabs Rin trying to leave] Senpai! Please don’t say that!
Rin:Nitori, let me go!
Nitori:J-Just the morning then! Just the morning, please, Senpai!
Rin:Let me go!
Nitori:Do you really want to quit the club over something– over something incredibly dumb like this? You’re going to the Olympics, aren’t you?

Rin:Fine. Just the morning… Got that?!

Rin:Damn it… why do I have to wear this…
Nitori:Now, now, Senpai!
Mikoshiba:Hey, Matsuoka! That maid outfit looks good on you!
Rin:That doesn’t make me happy! Why are you dressed as a butler, Captain Mikoshiba?! What happened to crossdressing?! Isn’t it a tradition?!
Mikoshiba:The tradition is that third-years are butlers while the first and second-years are maids.
Mikoshiba:Nitori, you have a small frame so it looks good on you too.
Nitori:What are you talking about? There’s someone here who looks more wonderful than I do.
Mikoshiba:I know, I know. Matsuoka dressed as a maid is like Mount Everest-level of super, right?
Nitori:As long as you know that.
Rin:Nitori, keep your mouth shut.
Nitori:Senpai, you have a pretty face and the length of your hair matches the white headdress.
Nitori:This maid outfit has leg of mutton sleeves, so it hides well your arm muscles and shoulders that you’ve trained through swimming.
Rin:Shut up…
Nitori:Your legs that I can glimpse through your petticoat are so tight and wonderful!
MIKOSHIBA: Nitori… you’re very knowledgeable on this stuff.
Nitori:Yes! I read up on it yesterday so that I can have an answer ready whenever my Senpai ask.
Rin:Don’t make use of a weird talent!
Nitori:[pulls out his phone] Can I take a picture?
[Rin lunges]
Nitori:Ow ow ow ow ow!
Rin:I am using the Iron Claw on you right now.
Nitori:Se-Senpai… my head… my head… you’re crushing my head…
Rin:I am using the Iron Claw on you right now.
Nitori:Senpai, are you a tsundere maid?!
Mikoshiba:Oh, come to think of it… I spotted Gou-kun earlier.
Rin:HUUHHHH?! I didn’t tell her about the festival!
Nitori:Senpai, senpai. Look.
Rin:What, Nitori? What’s there to look about the festival poster?
Nitori:That poster advertising our school festival was distributed throughout the whole town.
Rin:Eh?! …You…
Nitori:Senpai? Are you okay?
Mikoshiba:Oh, speak of the devil! There’s Gou-kun now!
Gou:[runs up] I came here to v– Brother… your outfit…
Gou:You look so pretty!
Nitori:Doesn’t he?!
Gou:Even in your maid outfit, I can tell you have huge pecs!
Nitori:As expected from the little sister!
Mikoshiba:Hey there, Gou-kun. I’m getting my break in just a minute, so why don’t you and I circle the festi–
Rin:Gou! Wait for me ten more minutes. Since you’re here, I’ll take you around the place.
Gou:…! Okay!
Mikoshiba:–together for dinner… Huh?
Nitori:[pats Mikoshiba on the shoulder] Captain Mikoshiba… don’t mind.[1]


  1. Translation by onkeikun


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